Sunday, October 30, 2005
All too often when I study literature, I find myself asking more questions than I could ever answer. First you question the meaning of life; then of death. Then time, memory, identity and self. And then, inevitably, love.
"You said, "I love you." Why is it that the most unoriginal thing we can say to one another is still the thing we long to hear? "I love you" is always a quotation. You did not say it first and neither did I, yet when you say it and when I say it we speak like savages who have found three words and worship them. I did worship them but now I am alone on a rock hewn out of my own body.
CALIBAN
You taught me language and my profit on't is
I know how to curse. The red plague rid you
For learning me your language.
Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid. It is no conservationist love. It is a big game hunter and you are the game. A curse on this game. How can you stick at a game when the rules keep changing? I shall call myself Alice and play crocket with the flamingoes. In Wonderland everyone cheats and love is Wonderland isn't it? Love makes the world go round. Love is blind. All you need is love. Nobody ever died of a broken heart. You'll get over it. It'll be different when we're married. Think of the children. Time's a great healer. Still waiting for Mr. Right? Miss Right? and maybe all the little Rights?
It's the cliches that cause the trouble. A precise emotion seeks a precise expression. If what I feel is not precise then would I call it love? It is so terrifying, love, that all I can do is shove it under a dump bin of pink cuddly toys and send myself a greetings card saying 'Congratulations on your Engagement'. But I am not engaged I am deeply distracted. I am desperately looking the other way so that love won't see me. I want the diluted version, the sloppy language, the insignificant gestures. The saggy armchair of cliches. It's all right, millions of bottoms have sat here before me. The springs are well worn, the fabric smelly and familiar. I don't have to be frightened, look, my grandma and grandad did it, he in stiff collar and club tie, she in white muslin straining a little at the life beneath. They did it, my parents did it, now I will do it won't I, arms outstretched, not to hold you, just to keep my balance, sleepwalking to that armchair. How happy we will be. How happy everyone will be. And they all lived happily ever after."- 'Written On The Body', Jeanette Winterson
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005
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Sunday, October 23, 2005
Carpe Diem!
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| You fit in with: Spiritualism Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms. 40% spiritual. 80% reason-oriented. | ||||
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
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Wednesday, October 19, 2005
I finally opened my "present" from Ben today... haha (Thanks, Ben!). It's kind of a funny story really, about our GO-FAR (Aceh) team and our obsessive love affair with Teh Botol.
Teh Botol is literally 'bottled tea'; or rather, sugared water that kind of tastes and looks like tea. We drank ridiculous amounts of it when we were in Meulaboh, and in fact we've occassionally cleaned out the eatery's entire stock of Teh Botol, like so:
So last week, about a month after we got back to Singapore, Ben was off on assignment but had some presents for us. We examined the packages curiously - then someone remarked that it sounded like it contained some sort of liquid. The immediate reaction was a comical look of shared understanding and a chorus of "It's Teh Botol!"
So, yeah. We're probably all going to frame the packet up or something. *LOL*
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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
歌曲：相爱很难
歌手：张学友,梅艳芳
最好有生一日都爱下去
但谁人能将恋爱当做终生兴趣
生活其实旨在找到个伴侣
面对现实热恋很快变长流细水
可惜我不智或侥幸
对火花天生敏感
不过两只手拉得太紧
爱到过了界那对爱人
同时亦最易变成一对敌人
也许相爱很难
就难在其实双方各有各寄望, 怎么办
要单恋都难
受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难
但如未成佛升仙也会怕爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难
未快乐先有责任给予对方面露欢颜
得到浪漫又要有空间
得到定局却怕去到终站
然后付出多得到少不介意豁达
又担心有人看不过眼
无论热恋中失恋中
都永远记住第一戒
别要张开双眼
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Monday, October 17, 2005
I don't mind being alone. In fact, I rather like it - it's quieter that way. But being alone and being lonely are two different things, and human beings are supposed to be social creatures.
Facing immortality is more fearsome than facing death alone, because there are things more horrible than death - boredom is one of them. And what if there wasn't any meaning to life? Can you imagine enduring the centuries, every day filled with the same futile things and petty concerns?
On the other hand, companionship is a tricky business - something that might be easily solved by getting a pet. Yes, an animal - because the love between pet and master is mercifully free of the questions that plague human couples: Does he love me? Does he love anyone more than me? Does he love me more than I love him? Perhaps all these questions we ask of love - intended to measure, test, examine, and above all save it - all they do is cut love short.
An animal's love is much simpler - it gives, and expects nothing more than company in return... Or am I being too optimistic about animals as well?
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Saturday, October 15, 2005
Saw this flashmovie "Glenn Said" that I found particularly poignant - and, unfortunately, true. Nice graphics and music.
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Sunday, October 09, 2005
Instructions of the tag: Given a topic, you are to write down your answers in your blog, and then send the same topic to 5 other people. Write down the names of these 5 people and link to them on your blog. Go visit their blogs to notify them that they are tagged. The 5 people who are tagged should, in their own blogs, write down the name and the link of the person who tagged them, answer the same topic, and send it to another 5 people, etc.
5 Things About Me:
1) Other people sleep-talk... I sleep-laugh. And I have the impeccable timing of bursting out with laughter when my sis is reading a scary part of a book or when my family members step into the room, etc. thereby freaking the bejeezers out of them.
2) I'm pro-choice but would never abort my own flesh and blood unless there are extenuating circumstances (like health issues where the child's quality of life would be grossly compromised). I'm of the opinion that every creature that has been given life should at least be given the opportunity to experience how over-hyped it is.
3) I eat french fries with chocolate-fudge sundae, among other weird foods. Have also recently developed a taste for the wasabe-mayo from McDonald's and wasabe peanuts.
4) I have very eclectic taste in music. My present playlist for example has an equal mix of 70s disco, chinese pop, alternative rock, canto musicals, heavy metal, and japanese acapella.
5) Instead of saying "ouch", I instinctively meow. That goes for people stepping on my feet, me accidentally knocking into furniture, etc. One of my teammates on my trip to Aceh was terrified of cats and had the misfortune of elbowing me in the ribs accidentally. She jumped about a foot in the air and started looking around for the cat when it was actually just me ^^;
I tag er... whoever wants to do this meme. *is lazy*
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Sunday, October 02, 2005
Having only recently discovered the joys of pontang-ing class (yes, it may seem incredible, but this semester is the first time I've actually consistently not gone for a certain module), I fear working life will not afford me that luxury. But then again, if I had the misfortune of being so unmotivated to go to work, I wouldn't stay long in that company in the first place. I hope I get to intern at the company I went to today... it sounds insanely demanding and hectic, and I will probably have no life whatsoever. Plus, the people there are mad. Kinda like choir, actually =D
[Edit: I got the job! So yes, I guess between work and choir I will have no life at all, haha. Madhouse, here I come.]
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